So my post complaining about putting on weight yesterday. Well, I measured myself and I am the same, if not a little less in measurements, so maybe Mark is right, and I am putting on muscle, not fat.
I know that I also need to curb my lack of self control when it comes to eating unhealthy foods. I was sooooo good, and so healthy earlier this year. I knew that I should not be feeding my body fatty, calorie laden foods, chock a block with High Fructose Corn Syrup, Hydrogenated fats and salt. But I guess that the past few months two things have happened. Firstly, life has been very busy and being pretty much the lone chef in the house means I get bored sometimes of having to create different meals all the time. And because Mark has the ability to eat whatever he wants, he doesnt always measure things when cooking. Plus when he cooks, it's almost MORE effort for me because I have to stand there and tell him what to do. Not being a bitch...if I were to make bookshelves, he would have to stand over me to tell me what to do.
Anyway, I think the second thing is that I feel like I am missing something right now. I desperately wanted to go on holiday next year but it looks like it is 99% impossible because I have to reapply for my visa in March, and I cannot leave the country until my visa has cleared. So we cant book a holiday because it could end up a massive waste of money if we cant go. So basically I am a big Debbie Downer, wishing I could do all these things I cant do, so instead I eat, because I do very very well at that.
I need to get back into my healthy eating mind frame. I dont think I ever really lost it, but now while I am stuffing my face with pizza or fries, I know that I should not be doing it, but I do it anyway, because i feel I deserve a treat.
Bottom line, I need a vacation, but will not get one in the near future. Yeah I know I have plenty to be thankful for. I know. I know. Instead I will stuff my face to try and be happy. But it makes me even more sad.